


Protect You

by hongbab



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 07:32:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10589337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongbab/pseuds/hongbab
Summary: “I’m so tired,” Jaehwan breathes and there’s not even the ghost of his roguish grin on his face; he seems so open and vulnerable, more so than he usually does whenever he asks Wonshik to go into his room.





	

"He's a little difficult," Hakyeon said like a mother trying to make her son appear less like the devil to the babysitter, and Wonshik nodded shortly, because that was what he had to do. Some clients were more difficult than others, but he'd been in the business for years, and a whiny celebrity was not going to make him back out of the whole thing.

Truth be told, the first time he stood guard in front of Jaehwan's Four Seasons hotel room at night, he was a little miffed at the singer for calling him into the room to pass him the remote control from where it was hidden under all kinds of documents on the coffee table, just so he didn't have to stand up from the king size bed, but that was a thing other stars had asked him before, so he let it slide.

Jaehwan also made him buy him coffee while the team escorted him from his van towards a concert venue, and no matter how many times they tried to make Jaehwan understand it would be better for his manager, Hakyeon, to do so, Jaehwan only smirked and argued that he wanted Wonshik to bring him his coffee. So Wonshik did. Without any complaints.

He also had to play card games with Jaehwan on nights he couldn't sleep, and walk him to the nearest convenience store to get ramyeon at 2 in the morning without notifying Hakyeon, only to get scolded by Jaehwan when he woke up bloated the next day.

Wonshik has always let Jaehwan drag him around like a doll because that was part of his work, if not officially incorporated in his scope of activities, but he was a bodyguard and Jaehwan apparently thought a bodyguard meant a playmate slash personal assistant. Wonshik never said a word about it not being completely true and not only because of the generous sum that landed in his bank account at the end of every month.

 

He's standing guard in front of another luxurious hotel room again, and he has to think hard before he remembers they're in Los Angeles now, the place not meaning anything to him as he stares ahead, at the (to him) mediocre-looking landscape in the fancy frame on the opposite wall of the corridor, head almost empty of thoughts.

Nothing much can be heard through the soundproof door, but then it opens and Wonshik turns his head towards it.

"Can you come in?" Jaehwan asks in a sad voice, pouting at his own naked feet as he stands in the crack of the door.

"Is something wrong?" Wonshik furrows his brow.

"Just— can you just come in?" Jaehwan pleads and lifts his red-rimmed eyes on Wonshik's face.

Wonshik swallows hard but steps into the hotel room when Jaehwan pulls it more open for him, shuffling to his messy bed in a huge white T-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs. Wonshik closes the door behind him and pops his earbud out of his ear, pressing the small button on it to turn off the mic, like he's learnt to do when Jaehwan wanted to talk to him in private, mostly about things that would get Wonshik in trouble. (Because Jaehwan has a habit of letting his tongue get loose when he drinks too much, and at this point he feels himself authorized to ask Wonshik about teenage love affairs and his experiences with marijuana.)

Wonshik turns back to the bed on top of which Jaehwan is perched with his legs crossed, looking awful. There are small sounds coming from the enormous television opposite the bed and when Wonshik glances at it, he almost chokes on his own saliva.

"You're watching porn?" he asks in a shaky voice he'd be ashamed of if he had any control over his emotions at the moment, staring at the naked butt of a girl before looking back at a shrugging Jaehwan.

"Boring hotel porn sometimes helps me fall asleep," he says and pats the mattress next to himself, beckoning Wonshik closer. "It's not working right now."

The girl is wrapped in tight-looking black bondage ropes, so Wonshik has no idea how that would be _boring_ , but he obeys and walks to the bed with his cheeks ablaze, sitting down by Jaehwan's knee.

"Can we switch it off?" Wonshik squeaks and Jaehwan rolls his eyes before taking the remote into his hand. "So," Wonshik clears his throat, taking a deep breath to calm down, "what's going on?"

Jaehwan blinks up at him, the ever-present bags under his eyes sagging more than usual, dark purple bruises framing them, the whites bloodshot, and he looks miserable, more miserable than any other night.

"I'm so tired," Jaehwan breathes and there's not even the ghost of his roguish grin on his face; he seems so open and vulnerable, more so than he usually does whenever he asks Wonshik to go into his room. He looks tinier, too, like a child in grief, and if Wonshik still had the heart he's lost during his training, it would be breaking for Jaehwan now. "I'm just... so exhausted," Jaehwan sighs.

"You can't sleep again, right?" Wonshik asks and Jaehwan nods.

Wonshik looks around the room, seeing a bottle of whisky snatched from the mini bar sitting on Jaehwan's nightstand, two shots' worth of it missing.

"I can ask Hakyeon to get you those pills again," Wonshik says and Jaehwan finally laughs, though it's sardonic and unhappy.

"I've been over those for hours," he replies.

"How many?"

"Two," Jaehwan replies and he must see something on Wonshik's face that annoys him because he says, "I'm not an idiot, don't look at me like that; I waited three hours before drinking."

"So, um," Wonshik scratches the back of his head, "how can I help?"

"I don't know," Jaehwan mumbles, and then he's pawing at Wonshik's jacket, fumbling with the sleeve and scooting closer on the sheets, pressing his forehead to Wonshik's shoulder. "Don't you fucking hate this bitch-ass Armani suit you have to wear all the time? I'd be so pissed if I had to wear a suit all day."

"The other set's more comfortable," Wonshik answers.

Jaehwan lifts his head, blinking slowly at Wonshik with his eyebrows knit, saying, "It's the same model as this one."

"Yeah, I was— I was trying to joke."

Jaehwan watches him for a few more moments before he chuckles breathlessly, resting his forehead on Wonshik's shoulder again.

"Just stay here a little longer," he murmurs, and Wonshik doesn't reply, only lets Jaehwan lean comfortably into his side.

Jaehwan is indeed a little difficult, but Wonshik doubts it's entirely his fault.

 

If there is anything about Jaehwan Wonshik has never doubted, it's his professionalism.

He smiles at his fans with true happiness radiating from his face, making hearts with his hands and throwing kisses, screaming about how much he loves everyone, how amazing he felt back on the stage. Those are all probably true, but Jaehwan is nowhere near as energetic at the moment as he pretends to be and from the corner of his eye, Wonshik can see Hakyeon about to chew his lower lip off as he stares at Jaehwan intently, trying to catch the moment before Jaehwan breaks.

Jaehwan makes it into the van without needing Hakyeon's or anyone else's help, waving at his fans one last time before he falls back into his seat, shutting his eyes.

The drive to the hotel isn't long but it's enough for Jaehwan to get completely knocked out, and when Hakyeon pulls over by the fire exit they use as the entrance, Jaehwan is sleeping with his head thrown back and his jaw slack.

"Fuck," Hakyeon curses and drapes himself over the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. "He's killing himself."

Wonshik turns around, glancing at Jaehwan's sleeping form and there's a kick in his stomach at the sight.

"I don't know what to do about him," Hakyeon says in a strangely trembling voice and Wonshik internally panics when a small sob leaves Hakyeon's throat. "He won't take even just a day off, I— I've told him so many times to just rest a little, but he won't because 'the fans will be disappointed', but— but if I were only his fan, I'd be more disappointed in him for straining himself until he passes out on stage, and he just won't understand."

"His insomnia's getting worse," Wonshik hears himself say against his better judgement. Maybe he shouldn't add fuel to the fire, but it's a problem and Hakyeon has to know, he has to do something because Wonshik can't and it frustrates him to no end.

"He won't go to the psychiatrist anymore," Hakyeon says and sits up straight again, wiping at his face with his hands. "He only went once and said he wouldn't do it again because he's, quote unquote, not crazy. I'm just... so worried about him. He's my best friend."

Wonshik blinks a few, glancing at the rear-view mirror, and from how unmoving Jaehwan is, he looks like he could well be dead.

"I'll take him upstairs," Wonshik says eventually and opens the car door, gathering Jaehwan into his arms.

All Jaehwan does is let his head loll to the side and rest on Wonshik's shoulder as they take the lift, and he won't even budge as Wonshik lays him on the bed, tucking him in.

If Wonshik's fingers run through Jaehwan's prettily styled hair fleetingly, he doesn't wake up and Wonshik leaves his room, leaning against the doorframe with something heavy and unfamiliar settling inside his chest.

 

"Can I ask you something?" Wonshik asked one night when he was sitting on Jaehwan's bed in his uncomfortable Armani suit, Jaehwan nibbling on a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Go ahead," he said with his mouth full.

"What causes your inability to sleep?"

Jaehwan looked up at the ceiling in thought, and then back at Wonshik.

"Worry," he replied, swallowing a bite. "Anxiety, more like."

"Why are you anxious?" Wonshik inquired.

"Well, there are a lot of things," Jaehwan explained. "I'm anxious because of performances, because of the public's opinion, because of critics' feedback... and the death threats."

"Death threats?" Wonshik arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I mean," Jaehwan took another slice from the box, "there's a reason why you have to guard me every night. I've received a few serious death threats recently, more serious ones than before—that's what Hakyeon says, anyway. I'm not sure who the people who have sent me those are, but I'm guessing they don't like me being successful." He laughed hollowly.

Wonshik thinks about that conversation now as they move between the buildings at the song festival, Hakyeon leading them with Sanghyuk, Wonshik's colleague, in front, and Jaehwan walking a few steps behind them, Wonshik strolling at the end of their little entourage. He has a hand on the gun in its holster on his hip, his fingers tapping on the juncture of his thigh, watching as Jaehwan waves at staff and security guards, moving like he's not worried at all, but Wonshik can see the tension in his shoulders, in the way his back is curved as if he's ready to duck if someone shoots. He looks small like on his sleepless nights, and he's been on edge since he woke up so pale in the morning, his fingertips white on the bag he's clutching and Wonshik thinks, someone so young, beautiful and talented as Jaehwan shouldn't be as broken and paranoid as he is.

It happens in a fraction of a second; Wonshik doesn't even realize what's going on until he hears Sanghyuk cry out Jaehwan's name, and half a beat later a car rushes over the spot Jaehwan was standing just now. The car's tyres squeak loudly as it turns the corner, swerving, and Wonshik stands unmoving, tears collecting in his eyes from the shock at how his life depended on a few millimetres.

"Wonshik," he hears the weak voice and Wonshik looks up at Jaehwan with his arm grabbed tightly by Sanghyuk, pulled to his chest protectively. "Wonshik!"

Jaehwan tears himself out of Sanghyuk's grip and leaps forward, his arms spread like he wants to jump into Wonshik's neck, but he stops right in front of Wonshik, looking up at him with true horror in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" is the only thing Wonshik manages to blurt out.

"Me?!" Jaehwan all but screams, the sounds scaring Wonshik. "You almost got run over! How can you ask me if I'm okay, you idiot?!"

Jaehwan's fist hits his chest painfully and then his fingers bunch up the material of Wonshik's jacket, pulling him away from the middle of the road.

Wonshik doesn't remember much of the afternoon, can’t even concentrate on Jaehwan's performance that he’s listening to from the backstage, Sanghyuk taking upon himself to stand guard in front of the building entrance. Hakyeon keeps puttering about him, bringing him water even though Wonshik rejected his attempt the first three times, too, his hands shaking on his hips. He looks ready to cry and Wonshik feels uncomfortable being forced to stay sitting on a couch.

His phone rings in his pocket and it's Taekwoon, so Wonshik stands up, showing Hakyeon the incoming call when he gets a glare for moving, and walks to a corner.

"Hey," Wonshik breathes.

"Are you all right?" Taekwoon asks without greeting him first and it's one of those things Wonshik has got used to in his boss during the years: his need to get to the point without beating about the bush.

"I'm fine," Wonshik replies, sweeping his hair out of his forehead. "Jaehwan almost got killed."

"I know," Taekwoon says and Wonshik is sure it was Sanghyuk who told him. "You didn't see the car coming, did you?"

"No, I was— I didn't."

"Wonshik, you need to be alert, you can't get distracted," Taekwoon sighs. "Is it because of Jaehwan?"

Wonshik considers telling him about how Jaehwan isn't feeling well, but that's not something for Taekwoon to know.

"I'll pay closer attention to things, I promise," he says in the end.

"You're not allowed to make mistakes. One slip could cost you Jaehwan's life, or your own."

"Can't you just give me another chance?" Wonshik asks, pathetic, and he crouches down in the corner, burying his face into his hand.

"Another chance at what?" Taekwoon asks back, but it doesn't sound condemning, if anything, he sounds concerned, and not about the prestige of their company, that much Wonshik knows. "Trying to save Jaehwan's life? Do you want me to send over fake hitmen you can take out, proving your capability?"

"That's not what I meant," Wonshik grumbles. "Let me sort this out a little, I... I need to talk to Jaehwan about it, okay? If he agrees to switching me with someone else, I'll just... I'll let you do that."

"You shouldn't have things to sort out Wonshik," Taekwoon replies and he sounds tired. "But I trust you, so just please, don't mess up ever again."

"Alright, got it."

Taekwoon murmurs his assent, ending the call immediately and leaving Wonshik's mind twisted in a way it hasn't been since he was a high schooler.

 

This time Wonshik doesn't wait for Jaehwan to come looking for him in front of his hotel room, but knocks on the door at approximately ten minutes before midnight.

"Jaehwan," he says, "can I come in?"

"Yes," he hears from inside.

The bedside lamp is the only light source in the room and Jaehwan sits on the bed with his legs dangling, looking like Wonshik has just dragged him out of his reverie. His eyes are shiny and squinted; he's drained, but can't sleep.

Wonshik closes the door after himself, taking a deep breath.

"About today—"

"You're upset about it, aren't you?" Jaehwan asks.

"Yeah," Wonshik replies. "I must not make mistakes."

"How is not noticing something anybody else wouldn't have noticed either a mistake?"

"Sanghyuk noticed." There's silence for a few moments, Jaehwan cracking his knuckles in his lap, avoiding Wonshik's eyes. "Sanghyuk noticed and I didn't and I almost got you murdered."

"You also almost got _yourself_ murdered," Jaehwan points out, glancing up at him.

"Yes, and— and getting myself murdered is another way to put you in danger because I'm here to protect you. You've trusted me with your life and I put it at risk."

"I don't understand," Jaehwan shakes his head, standing up slowly, stepping closer to Wonshik, keeping his eyes on the floor. Wonshik follows his gaze and sees Jaehwan's naked feet standing in stark contrast with his black leather boots. "What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say is... is that you'll need someone else to... take care of you from now on," Wonshik says, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Why?" Jaehwan asks, lifting his head and looking into Wonshik's eyes, searching. "Why does a single slip make you suddenly unqualified to be my bodyguard when you've been with me for so many months?"

"It's because I can't get distracted, but you distract me all the time."

Wonshik freezes up, seeing his own surprise reflected on Jaehwan's face. He feels a blush spread on his cheeks and it's a strange feeling, something he hasn't experienced for years.

"You got distracted by me?" Jaehwan whispers.

Wonshik shrugs, averting his eyes.

Two ice cold hands cup his face and then Jaehwan is pulling him down, kissing Wonshik on the lips softly, his lips chapped but warm, and Wonshik opens his mouth for him, unsteady hands settling on Jaehwan's hips. Jaehwan caresses his face the way his mother used to do when he was a child, making Wonshik's heartrate speed up, his ribs expanding like his chest is ready to burst with a deep breath of fresh air.

Jaehwan tugs at the lapels of his jacket and Wonshik shrugs it off, lets Jaehwan unbutton his white dress shirt, unbuckle his belt. His clothes soon land on the floor and he pulls Jaehwan's tee over his head, picking him up to lay him on the mattress gently, like he's handling the most expensive china.

"You've got tattoos," Jaehwan notes, running his fingers over the one under Wonshik's collarbone first, touching the one on his right underarm next, turning his head to the side to press a smiley kiss to the latter and Wonshik's arm starts to tremble by Jaehwan's head. "They're pretty."

Wonshik doesn't know what to say; a thank you would sound awkward, so he kisses Jaehwan again, exhaling into his mouth when Jaehwan drags his hand down his chest, feeling up his stomach.

It's striking how soft Jaehwan is despite all the edges to his body, his skin smooth under Wonshik's lips as his tummy twitches, his bony fingers curling into Wonshik's hair when Wonshik takes him into his mouth, his legs shaking. Jaehwan arches up from the bed with a moan and Wonshik licks a trail up the inner side of his thigh, pecking his hip bone to soothe the pain his fingers are causing.

Jaehwan drapes an arm over Wonshik's neck and pulls him closer, whimpering into his mouth and biting down on Wonshik's lower lip, breathing, "I'm ready."

Jaehwan is intoxicating and Wonshik has to bury his face into the crook of his neck, trying to stifle his sounds as he thrusts forward, slowly, letting Jaehwan adjust. He soon feels Jaehwan's sweat-slick legs around his waist and Wonshik supports himself on his arms again, looking down at Jaehwan's flushed face, at his parted mouth and at his sparkling eyes. He's never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Jaehwan lets him go slow, writhing under him, groaning when Wonshik hits his sweet spot, his voice cracking and still as gorgeous as it is when he sings. It resonates through Wonshik's body as he kisses Jaehwan's neck, pushing in that bit harder  until Jaehwan is pulling at his hair with a little more force, and Wonshik feels himself get closer to the edge with every single move of Jaehwan's hips as he tries to meet Wonshik's thrusts.

Jaehwan comes with Wonshik's name half catching in his throat, his entire body shuddering, and he kisses Wonshik senseless, lets his moans spill into his mouth, swallowing each of them, and they kiss as long as Wonshik can keep himself up on his hands, falling on the mattress next to Jaehwan when all of his strength leaves him.

He lies on his stomach with a hand on Jaehwan's cheek, thumb stroking it, the blush on it almost burning his skin. Jaehwan blinks languidly, just watching Wonshik; there's no tension in him anymore, his shoulders aren't squared and his gentle smile isn't tight, his hand isn't cold on Wonshik's back as he traces the pattern of his tattoo on the top of his spine with his fingers. Wonshik wants to tell him so many things, but he's not even sure what he wants to tell him, what should be said right now, how he should bring back up the topic of getting Jaehwan a new bodyguard, especially now, after... after everything. 

He doesn't know how to tell Jaehwan that he is his first love.

 

"Are you telling me you want me to pay you for sleeping with Jaehwan?"

If Taekwoon is shocked, it's not at all visible on his face, though his voice cracks in the middle of his question, his hands safely tucked into the pockets of his trousers, fisted into the material.

"That's not what I meant," Wonshik replies, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I'm just saying that he can sleep when I'm next to him. Otherwise he's insomniac."

"Okay, let's turn this around again," Taekwoon furrows his brow. "You want me to have two of my best men around the same person at night, one of them 'guarding' him in his bed. Is that it?"

"I'm just saying that someone should watch the door while I'm— I'm— Taekwoon, _he can't sleep_."

The last words come out as a plea, Wonshik almost begging Taekwoon to understand what he's saying, even if he knows how crazy the whole idea is.

"You are a bodyguard, Wonshik, not a fucking therapy animal." Taekwoon now grits his teeth, flipping his fringe out of his eyes in an irritable manner. "Neither are you a celebrity, and I'm not going to make Sanghyuk protect your sleep. You're changing clients."

"Fine," Wonshik says. "Fine, but I want the nights off."

"That depends on the _client_ , Wonshik."

"Then I just won't show up to my night shifts. You can't let one of your best men neglect his job, now can you?"

The tensions grows big enough for Wonshik to flinch when Taekwoon takes half a step forward, his piercing gaze feeling like he's mentally tearing Wonshik to pieces.

"Get out of here," he whispers in a voice that's as cold as his peppermint gum smells, and Wonshik presses his lips together lest he starts laughing and Taekwoon most literally bites his head off for it.

"What did he say?" Jaehwan asks outside of the building, tugging at the sleeves of his oversized hoodie, his lips blood red from worrying it between his teeth. Behind him Hakyeon is pretending to be immersed in his phone, facing away from them.

"I'm changing clients," Wonshik says, rolling up one of Jaehwan's sleeves to his wrist so he can lace their fingers.

"What?" Jaehwan gasps. "So you're— you're not going to be with me anymore?"

"I've got most nights off," Wonshik says, kissing the tip of Jaehwan's nose. "Or, at least, I'm taking most nights off. He's going to lower my salary, though."

"I'm sorry," Jaehwan replies, pouting.

"As long as you can sleep well, I'll be fine," Wonshik smiles and Jaehwan ruffles his hair.

Hakyeon snorts, scrolling through his phone.

"Your boyfriend is a fucking billionaire, of course you’ll be fine."

"Yeah, that, too," Wonshik laughs and Jaehwan's hand goes from the top of his head to the back of it, smacking it gently.

Wonshik kisses him on the mouth for it, Jaehwan smiling against his lips, and Wonshik can breathe again.

Jaehwan is his first love.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to talk to me about any of my stories or just vixx in general on [tumblr](http://hongbab.tumblr.com/), [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/hongbab) or [aff](http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1061753) ♡ please support me on [ko-fi.com](https://ko-fi.com/hongbab) if you can ♡


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